Why do you do the things you do?
It’s a question that’s been on my mind a lot lately, especially as I reflect on my own journey. You see, my childhood experiences led me to live an inauthentic life—a life driven by the pursuit of money, recognition, and status.
In high school, I was consumed by the desire to be “rich and famous.” After school, I worked tirelessly, day and night, chasing after that elusive validation. But when I finally achieved it, I realized that something was missing. It took a profound experience with psychedelics to pull me out of my body and force me to view my life from a different perspective.
And so began my journey of self-discovery.
Today, I’ve let go of the need for external validation. I no longer crave designer labels or fine dining experiences. Instead, I find joy in the simple things—walking barefoot on the beach with my dog, trading my Porsche for a bicycle, practicing yoga, and embracing the freedom to fly business class or stay in a cheap hotel without attachment.
These are the things that truly make me happy—not the superficial pursuits I once thought were essential.
Looking back, I wish I had known this earlier. I wish my dad had told me.
What about you? Are you living life on your own terms, or are you caught up in the expectations and conditioning of the world around you?
Remember, life is short—make it joyful.
CM
April 28, 2024 at 9:00 pm
I often hear similar stories from people I admire, the adage of “money can’t buy happiness”. I feel like as much as I hear this it doesn’t change anything, this is something that people just have to experience for themselves.
I’m very much aware of why I do what I do, a lot of it is driven by bad experiences I had growing up and bad experiences that I still continue to go through. To be honest, the only reason I’m able to continue pushing is the thought of one day going through similar experiences but as someone who can’t be ignored, rejected or messed around with.
I can’t say that money doesn’t buy happiness because I’m still a broke student but with the little successes I’ve achieved I’ve started realising that nothing much changes. But in the greater scheme of things having your trauma manifest in the form of “success” is better than the many other forms it could manifest itself.
And I’ve always wondered if people who go through such strong psychedelic experiences lose that ambition that brought about the “success” in their lives.
Nku20lu18
April 28, 2024 at 9:01 pm
Marnus thank you so much for this book you have written for us the readers. I really appreciate people like you who are willing to help and support others out there. Believe me these 90 Rules are of great assistance to me and I’m already implementing many of them in my life and growing business.
DS
April 28, 2024 at 9:02 pm
Marnus,
For me, I only know which I think I know which I don’t…..always leading me back to square one.
Despite recognising that seeking validation through proving myself is flawed – I still catch myself in that cycle.
No, I lie, it happens a lot!
It is like I operate on autopilot until the truth hits me, and then I am filled with self-criticism and a sense of shame, “as I know better”
Letting go of ingrained patterns is tough, and I struggle with that choice.
Is money truly the root of all evil, or is it the pursuit of validation and acceptance?
I remind myself that I am enough (and often I really believe this) so why the persistent need to portray someone I am not?
Who will I be “if I had no-thing” – Scary thought.
These questions seem to answer themselves, don’t they?
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Marnus.
It is comforting to know we are all interconnected and facing similar struggles.
Life truly is beautiful.
Marnus
May 15, 2024 at 10:33 am
Hi DS, Thanks for the nice note.
I agree, we are all facing the same struggles and for me personally, not throwing in the towel and trying to be better all the time, is a worthwhile pursuit. For oneself but also for larger society.
Check out this cool video. I found it super inspiring and was part of the reason why I decided to write again, so getting this message from you was great validation.
https://www.ted.com/talks/ethan_hawke_give_yourself_permission_to_be_creative?language=en
All the best!
Marnus
CW
April 28, 2024 at 9:03 pm
I am challenged by this new you.
I can relate to the Rich but not the Famous. I probably have the wrong belief in that you have to have money to survive. I fully agree in the less is more and excess is a problem to living a full life. But I don’t know about you , but in our family we hardly made it by with the month end finances always coming in on time. Therefore I probably have way more than I need, even to retire but have anxiety issues with not having enough and been on the street when I am older.
You may be maturing faster than you think , therefore in body you a young age but in mind much older. I can tell you that I am nowhere near you and envy the stage you in, I am still running the rat race life and trying to find the way out … I suppose it is much of a journey in life where we all mature and learn different values and self-discover and non-negotiables in life at different ages.
Great evening ahead