The year is coming to an end.

Next week I will be flying to South Africa for three weeks. I am really looking forward to summer, seeing my family, and spending time in Cape Town with friends.

At the end of the year, I always do two things: I spring-clean my apartment and throw out everything I do not need, and I reflect on the year. This week I did exactly that.

The cleaning surprised me. I barely threw anything away. It made me realise that I have been living very minimally over the last couple of years. Both in terms of physical possessions and mental clutter. It definitely contributed to my biggest realisation during my reflections: That I feel really light and free.

The year had lots of ups and even a few downs, but honestly, this last quarter has evolved into me experiencing the best time of my life.

Not because of external achievements, but because I finally reached an internal state I have been chasing for a long time. I feel in flow with life. I am living a slow but rich life.

What does that state look like?

I do less, but it feels like more.
I have fewer friendships, but deeper ones.
I feel present.

My relationship with my mom, my brother, and my friends is the best it has been in years. I do not wake up with an alarm. I am never in a rush. I do not get upset easily. I pack my bags the night before a flight. I make time to buy birthday and Christmas gifts for friends.

Everything feels lighter. Easier.

What actually changed in 2025

For years, I built a highly structured life.

No meat.
No food after 17:00.
Waking up at a specific time.
Sleeping a specific number of hours.
No sugar.
No meetings.
Morning meditation.
Running on Tuesdays.
And a thousand other rules.

They worked. They kept my mind and body in great condition.

But over time, they became a cage.

I started missing out on life. I said no to spontaneous plans. I never met people for dinner. I skipped experiences because they did not fit the system.

It also pushed me into compulsive overthinking, constantly optimising, refining, and controlling. I was doing it right most of the time, but it took me away from the one thing you cannot systemise or plan perfectly: LIFE.

So over the last couple of months, I changed it.

I went on blind dates.
I went bar hopping with a friend until the early hours of the morning.
I ate chicken at a Greek restaurant.
I missed some meditations.

And most importantly, I was okay with it.

Yes, I did not feel one hundred percent the next day. But it was worth it. And surprisingly, life became more enjoyable.

I still follow my rules most of the time. But they are no longer rules. They feel more like guidelines. How I feel, and what the moment asks for, matters more now.

That shift alone changed everything.

Life feels fun again. An adventure I’m loving.

There are also a couple of other things I discovered and changed this year that I feel culminated in this current state.

No phone, no noise

I deleted Instagram about eight months ago. I also try to go without my phone for large parts of the day.

It has been a complete game changer.

I still take lots of photos, but I do not think about posting them. Experiences stay mine. There is no audience in my head while I am living.

There is also far less coming in. Fewer opinions. Fewer distractions. Fewer emotional hooks. Without constant input, my nervous system calmed down. My thoughts slowed. I became present again.

And without digital shortcuts to connection, I was forced back into the real world. Real conversations. Real friendships. Real effort.

Relationships

This year I became intentional about who I let close.

I stepped away from people who consistently drained me, not out of resentment, but out of self respect. I realised I need optimistic and grounded people around me. That does not mean people who are never sad. It means people who take responsibility for their lives and contribute to mine.

The result?

Fewer friendships. Much more depth.

Taoism and sexual energy

I discovered Taoism this year and have been reading a lot about it. I love the principles and they align strongly with how I currently feel and live.

I also experimented with abstaining, and the impact surprised me.

When sexual energy is not constantly released outward, it gets redirected into focus, creativity, presence, and confidence. It is subtle, but powerful. I feel more grounded in my body and clearer in my direction.

It is not about dogma or labels. Just noticing what actually changes how I show up in the world.

Where I am now

I still live a disciplined life.

I still train, eat well, journal, meditate, and sleep properly.

But I no longer try to control life into perfection.

Discipline now supports life. It does not restrict it.

I am calmer. Kinder. More spontaneous. More available to myself and to others.

Closing

As the year ends and I head back to South Africa, I feel deeply grateful. For health. For family. For friendships. For the freedom to design a life that genuinely feels like mine.

This may or may not resonate with you, and that is okay. But if this year taught me anything, it is that a good life does not need to be fast, loud, or optimised to death.

Sometimes it just needs to be honest.