Life’s been good this side. I’m chiseling away at the future I want, while trying to enjoy the present too. 95% of the time, I feel like I’m winning. 5% of the time, I feel like a complete idiot questioning every life decision I’ve ever made. And somehow… that balance feels exactly right. That’s life.

Here are a few thoughts and shifts from the last few months — things that changed my thinking, routines, or perspective. Maybe something here will resonate:

Meditation

I’ve meditated for years, and two years ago I did a 10-day silent Vipassana that shifted things even more. But this year is the first time I’ve truly made long, daily sits part of my life. I now start every morning with 30 minutes of silence. I can’t fully explain it, but the more I meditate, the more I get done — and the lighter, calmer, and happier I feel.

A gym closer to home

For years, I went to a gym across town — partly to see a new part of the city, but mostly to make things harder for myself (type A much?). But now I’ve joined a new gym just 5 minutes from home. It changed everything. Training is easy. Some days I pop in twice. It reminded me of a bigger truth: if something matters to you, remove friction. Make it easier to do. 

Push-ups to start the day

Inspired by this interview with Pavel Durov (founder of Telegram), who does 200 push-ups every morning, I started doing 50 when I wake up. My chest looks fuller, my energy’s better, and it’s a great way to kick off the day. Building it up from here.

Substances, sex, phone, and sugar

Four things that spike dopamine… but actually steal from the rest of my life. I’ve been reflecting on how much better life is when I avoid them. It’s not always perfect, but the trend is clear: less of those things = more peace, more clarity, more energy. I could write a book on each — and maybe I will one day. But for now, I’m staying mindful, and 2025 is on track to be my best year yet.

Spanish

This language is kicking my ass — way harder than I thought it would be. I gave up on expectations and now just show up every day: two 45-minute sessions. One is a live chat on Baselang with someone who only speaks Spanish (forcing me to speak it with no English as a backup), and the other is reading short stories. Progress is slow but steady — and oddly satisfying.

Being a dad

I’ve been working hard behind the scenes on the surrogacy process to have a child as a single parent. South Africa is no longer an option, and Spain doesn’t allow it — but Mexico does. I’ve found a great agency there and I’m now searching for an egg donor. If all goes well, I hope to welcome Josh into the world in 2026 or 2027. Feels surreal to write that.

The impermanence of it all

In the past few months, I’ve said goodbye to a few things close to my heart:

• Marmite — my cat of 16 years — had chronic pancreatitis, and I eventually had to let him go.
• A close friend and I had a painful falling out.
• My long-time cleaning lady quit without warning.

Each of them held a piece of my routine, my life. Letting go wasn’t easy — but it reminded me again: everything is temporary. We must love it while it’s here, and let it go when it’s time. And somehow, that creates space for what’s next.

AI is changing everything

I’m obsessed. Honestly. I use ChatGPT daily — as therapist, stylist, doctor, ghostwriter, Taoist guide, business coach. It’s wild how useful it is. And it’s only getting started.

“Fok jou, dad.” — the book

Last year, I finished writing another book – this time about my life. It’s raw, honest, and personal. At the time, I thought I’d never publish it — mostly because I didn’t want to hurt my family, and also because I’m enjoying living quietly. But a few months ago, I gave it to my mom and brother to read. It opened up some beautiful conversations — and they were okay. So who knows… maybe one day it’ll see the light.

Friendship

Moving countries and starting over made me realize how rare and special real friendships are. And how essential. Some of my best memories lately came from moments shared. Definitely something I want to invest more in.

Speaking of which — I’m heading to Malta at the end of July to celebrate my 40th (wtf) with ten of my best friends from around the world. Can’t wait.

Hope something in here sparked something for you.

Chat soon.

Love,
Marnus